Monday, January 27, 2014

Online dating: the unexpected "Part 2"

A few days ago, I published an article about online dating where I drew on scientific studies and dating sites surveys results to improve your chances of success. Hardly had I published that article that I watched a video discussing other ways to improve your chances, based on a "study" published by Zoosk, a dating website.

After following a few links, I could only find results of a survey presented in a graphic, while news articles refer to, at best, Zoosk's blog. So... journalists are not doing a good job at citing sources.

Let's check the recommendations to improve our profile! I'll just remind you though, that I'm focused on improving my male profile in order to attract the attention of women. I have sorted the results in order of how big the effect is. So don't go correcting your spelling mistakes before you've put that full body shot online!


Full body shot: women want to see your whole body, not just your face. And the benefit is dramatic. You'll get 203% as many messages and you're 33% more likely to receive a response to your outgoing messages.

Be honest: mentions of of divorceseparate or my ex will get you 52% more messages. OK... this one comes as a surprise to me. I mean... of course showing honesty is good, but I thought women don't really want to hear about your past. I guess I'll have to think again.

Be positive: when you use "positive" words like creativeambitiouslaugh, or healthy, you'll get 33% more messages.

Share your hobbies: mentioning your hobbies will get you more responses. Words related to physical exercise (jogging, running, yoga, lifting weights...) will get you 21% more messages, as will words related to intellectual activities (book, read, write...). Music-related words will get you 15% more messages.

Outdoor photo: an outdoor photo will give you a sizable +19% messages.

Use the smart smiley: the smiley with a nose :-) seems to convey more positive emotions than the more recent smiley without a nose :) so use the right one to get 13% more responses or risk using the wrong one and get 66% less responses

Check your spelling: spelling errors will hurt your profile. Modern web browsers and text editors include spell-checking so just pay attention to details and if some words are underlined by a red line, you probably should correct that.


Posing with animals: will get you 53% less messages... Really? This one goes against the findings of OkCupid that I mentioned in my first article. Well... if recommendations are conflicting and if this can hurt your profile as much as 53%, I'd recommend to be on the safe side and leave animals out of the picture.

Including other people in your photos: will get you 42% less messages. Ouch! But that's understandable. Women want to see you. Not your friends. Not your family.

Rush for real-life meeting: if you mention dinner, drinks, or lunch in your first messages, you'll get 35% less messages. This scares women away. Big time.

Spelling mistakes hurt you by 13%.

Selfie: women don't respond well to selfies, and you'll degrade by 8% your chances of getting a response. So don't do it!

Mentioning words that women don't want to hear at the moment: words like baby, beautiful, or cute are not what women are interested in when they discover your profile. The word beautiful is something that they've heard over and over again from thick guys. Plus it's kind of sexist, because if that's all you have to tell her, it's like you're less interested in her other traits. Babies... well, that's supposed to come up in more serious discussions after you've established a decent contact and that you start considering the possibility of a future. No rush!


More advice cannot hurt. Hopefully this is a good complement to my first article. And there's certainly more to discover.

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